The Healing Power of a good Parent-Child Relationship

Ever felt hopeless in managing the defiance coming from your angry child?  If you want to significantly improve your relationship with your child, here is one approach that will do that.:

For about ten minutes before bed do these three things with your child: 1) ask "What did you like today?". Listen and only comment with "I understand" or "Interesting". 2) ask "Is there something you wish had gone differently?"' Respond only with "Thank you for telling me". 3) make a reassuring physical contact, ie a hug or a caressing gesture to the head, while briefly telling something positive about your own day. 

This interaction, tested on 4700 families, showed an 80% reduction in child-parent conflict with a 93% effectiveness even in the most complex cases. Children receiving these ten minutes for 21 consecutive days showed a 72% reduction in oppositional behaviour and a 64% increase in spontaneous collaboration initiatives. They also showed an 83% increased capacity to manage conflict with peers compared with a control group. In a 2 year follow up study, children experiencing this quality time showed levels of confidence and emotional resilience 54% higher than their peers.  Child psychologists state that this exercise has a more significant impact on the parent-child relationship than any other strategy! 

The reason for these very impressive numbers is that this exercise creates an emotional security at home. This feeling of security will spontaneously transfer into all the social contacts your child has, including you.

Phase 1 of this exercise, listening to your child talk about their day, will strengthen his/her hippocampus, the centre of the brain that consolidates positive memories and increase the perception of being understood  by 62%..

Phase 2, the question "Is there something you wish had gone differently" formulated exactly like this,  lowers emotional defences and opens a safe sharing space.

Phase 3, reassuring physical contact while briefly sharing something positive about your day, increases oxytocin, the connector hormone, that strengthens an intergenerational neural bridge between you and your child.

Here is the challenge: do this exercise with your child every day for 21 days, even if your child seems disinterested at first. Neurologists have documented that the most interesting changes occur between day 14 and 17. of consistent application.